My Faith Was Waivering, But God Taught Me a Lesson

September 27, 2016


Overwhelmed. 

I think that is how I can describe my feelings right now. My heart is so happy and full right now. I, honestly, do feel as if I could burst. It is pretty incredible what God is doing in my life right now. His amazing love echos in my spirits. He has graced me with wonderful people who truly encourage me to only grow in my walk with God. 

God has really been working on me. He is teaching me.

Guatemala is a place I love yet have never been. I am just so in love with the sweet faces, and I am eagerly awaiting the moment God allows me to step on their soil. Every time I see a photo of these people I am met with an abundance of joy. Antigua is filled with stunning faces but many broken hearts. I am so blessed to be able to be God's hands and feet through child, community, and sports outreached. He has blessed me beyond measure through His grace. As His child, I am called to be a light -- always radiating His love.While my heart is overwhelmed with joy, I am also met with anxiety.

I would like to say that I have it all together. I don't though. I want to align my heart with the Almighty, because I know He has the power to do great things. I want to lay up the burdens of fundraising to Him. Daily, I am reminded that He has got this. He has opened up these doors for a reason. 

I am. I am beating up myself for not fully being reliant. I am beating up myself, because I know I cannot be in control. It's a struggle. God has been so gracious to give me this opportunity to be His vessel yet my trust waivers.

My mind spirals with the thoughts of "what if there is not enough". People are giving. They are giving generously, but that thought still runs in the back of my mind. My spirit gets discouraged sometimes because of the marathon in my head. I am so grateful for God's grace. Ah! God has perfect timing.

As these thoughts were going around one night, one specific song plays from my playlist -- Come As You Are by Crowder. I was doing my evening devotions and had to stop to really revel in those words.

"So Lay down your burdens, lay down your shame
All who are broken, lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home, you're not too far
So lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
Come as you are"

The next verse says,Come sit at the table, come taste the grace."

Then and there, God whispered to His child to come. Come and lift up the burden. Lift up the burden of worry. He reminded me that He is for us. Nothing can stand between us. Oh, yes, you can bet my heart was so full after that prayerful night. 

When I lifted up my own hands from this situation and let God's hands work, my eyes were opened. I was no longer blinded by the doubt Satan has placed before me. It is incredible to see the generous hearts of others give. It is incredible to just see how God is weaving His great plan. While I am completely oblivious to my future, I can rest in the hands of my All-Knowing God. I can stop running and rest. My soul rests in Him, because I know He will provide.

2 Corinthians 9:8 // "And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

Thank you for the many blessings you all have given me. Thank you for following and supporting me along this journey that God has for me. I am so grateful for the love that has been shared. If you feel led to be one of the 100 givers, my heart is overjoyed. You can give here. Thank you for your continued prayer as God works on my heart -- chiseling and molding. 


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