Carrying Around Shame

December 25, 2016

I felt I should write again. 
Pour out my heart. Pour out all of the adjectives, adverbs, metaphors, and similes fumbling around in my head. 
I walk a broken road, but this place is not my home. I have shame, doubt, and unworthiness, but it is not mine anymore to carry.  I see a messy creation from my unwashed mirror but my worth is not in that reflection. 
My identity is in the cross -- the redemption of sin, the selflessness of our God, the beauty of our Creator. There is beauty in our ashes. There is beauty in the rise. We are enriched with grace and showered with mercy. Our own strength is not enough for the battles we face in this walk, but hey, we have a God stronger, fiercer, bigger. I wanted to hear God's voice tonight. I wanted to listen to His sweet song. As my knees rested on my bedroom floors and my face in my hands, I heard "my child, I am here. I am here". 

Psalm 16:11 // "In your presence, there is fullness of joy". 

He made sure I knew of His presence, so that I would remember that with Him, I can find joy. In Him, I can see rest. When I am weak, grace wins. When I am fighting battles, He picks up a sword and fights for me. I am not just here to talk you up and blab about how worthy you are. You are worthy. You are worth it. I am also here to tell you the not so warm and fuzzy things. In our walk with God, there will be destruction. There will be hurt. The world will discourage you. It will consume you with doubt. As human beings, we are so sinful and flawed, but we can rest in the fact that we will always be found in the arms of His grace. Keep your eyes above the waves -- above the uneasy shifting, uncomfortable pounds of weight and to the Creator of the unforeseen. We are treasures woven by His love.

No more carrying of shame. 

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