To Those Who Forget To Love Themselves

March 28, 2017

I can tell you love loving people. You love the joy that comes from uplifting someone. You love the light in their eyes after you make their stomach hurt from laughter. You are the friend who pushes your hurt bestie to tell them what is really going on. You see the heart rather than skin. You are the one listening to them spill every burden out to you, but when someone asks you what is wrong, you lie and say that "you are good".

You feel as if your position is to love and not to be loved. You feel as if you are suppose to be the "strong one". You are the one known for always smiling, so you don't want to let others down. While you care for others and repeat "you are loved", you forget to do the same thing to your reflection.

You and I share the same heart.

I have a hard time extending grace to myself. I have a pride problem. I tell myself that vulnerability is weakness. I hide behind a facade.

Let me step a little out of my shadow and speak my truth.

I am so consumed with myself -- my own self-doubt, my body, my thoughts. I prepare my own conversations. I go over and over each word in my head before I actually say it. While I absolutely love community, sometimes my heart weighs me down in social situations. I scream but nothing comes out. I cry but am seen with a smile on my face. I am so consumed with my body, my weight, the meals that I put into my mouth. I beat myself up for failing or being wrong. I look at other people's lives and wish I was them. I am a liar. I lie to myself that I am inadequate -- too small.

I forget to love myself.

Oh, do not forget to extend grace to yourself.

Psalm 119:50 // "This is my comfort, my consolation, and my breath of fresh air in the midst of my depression and loss. Your Word nourishes and repairs, it revives my life and your promises restore me and make me whole."

This is your truth. You are loved. You are wanted. You are enough.

You are not perfect. You will never be perfect. Stop striving for perfection.

Revive your life with His breath.

You are worthy, because our Jesus is worthy. You are beautiful, because your fragile self was made by our strong God. We are renewed each morning. His Word. Every time. It sets me straight. It reminds me that I am chosen and beloved. The enemy is so attacking you right now.

Like you love other people, love yourself fiercely. You were worth the cross. You are worth your own grace. There will be days that you so badly want to be "strong" and "courageous". My dear, being strong and courageous does not mean putting on a brave face after a bad day. Being strong and courageous means being humble and letting Christ take the throne.

My pride problem is what leaves me broken and on the floor wishing someone would ask a second time "now, what is really wrong". It leaves me looking for band-aids and not looking for healing, It leaves me feeling lonely and abandoned. Our Lord heals. Let me repeat that, Our Lord heals. He conquers. He embraces. Surround yourself with community. Be taught truth and not the world's lies.

You were made for so much more than looking at the mirror and doubting your self worth. You were made to love everyone endlessly -- that includes yourself. The next time you feel unwanted open the Word that declares you are chosen.

1 Peter 2:9 // "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light,

Did you get that?

1. We are His chosen people. Our Holy Savior chose us, He chose us! Why? Just because He loves us. If a perfect Father can love His children so much that He sends His Son to die for us, don't you think our imperfect selves should be able to love ourselves.

2. We are to declare His name, Our lips are made for praise not for self-deprecation. I am so guilty of shaming myself that I forget that I was made to speak the goodness of our Father.

3. He pulls us out of darkness, He is our fortress. He is our light, He did not compromise His grace even in our dire circumstances. He never compromises.

These principles are why we should extend a little more grace. I am so speaking to myself right now and not just you. My prayer for you is that you will say the same thing in the reflection as what you say to others. Guard your heart against petty lies. Affirmation upon affirmation is written in the Bible. Don't fight the war that wages in you alone. Fight it with the Word in one hand and God as your guide.

Let's be consumed with something deeper than our flaws and imperfections. Let's be consumed with the endless, gracious love of our Father.

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